


"for now, they don't need to know"

by serenity_axel



Series: Stray Kids: OT9 [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bambam is there for like 5 seconds at the end, Bittersweet, Fluff, Light Angst, OT9 - Freeform, Sickfic, Sort Of, i really like bittersweet writing, so guess what you're going to read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 20:36:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13842564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenity_axel/pseuds/serenity_axel
Summary: He didn't mean to stay at the studio all night. It just kind of happened while he was working on the group's new track. The producers had asked him to fix up a part before Tuesday (it had been Friday at the time).However....Chan hadn't been very responsible.





	"for now, they don't need to know"

He didn't mean to stay at the studio all night. It just kind of happened while he was working on the group's new track. The producers had asked him to fix up a part before Tuesday (it had been Friday at the time).

However....

Chan hadn't been very responsible.

He had put it off until Monday night, being too busy with practicing for their showcase. Changbin and Minho had voiced their worries about the decreased length of time he had committed to practicing, and coupled with recurring mistakes during group practice, Chan's promise to the producers had been quickly forgotten.

That is, until they called him in Monday afternoon to check his progress.

Ah, what a disaster that was.

After that, Chan had vowed to himself he wouldn't leave until it was finished.

But he did not think it would take this long.

What was wrong with it? Why didn't it sound right? He must've created about thirty different versions of the part, but none of them sounded very good with the rest of the track.

Slowly, surely, Chan's eyelids began to droop. Before he knew it, the lights were being turned on and he was caught staring, confused and startled, right at his members. His laptop was open right in front of him, showcasing the activity he had spent all the time meant for sleep.

Finally, Minho spoke. "Have you been here all night?"

Chan scratched the back of his neck and stretched. "Hm? Yeah, I—I guess....yeah."

"Are you okay?" This time it was Changbin.

"I'm fine. You all came here for practice, right? Let's do it then."

As Chan stood up, Jisung moved forward to gently push him back down. "Hyung, I don't think you should."

"You already have it down, anyway," Hyunjin added. "Just go home."

After a few seconds of everyone either silently staring at him or the floor, eyes flickering, Chan finally smiled. "Okay."

\---

When he got back to the dorm, Chan powered up his laptop and continued working. He needed to finish it today, no matter what.

A few hours and offensive curses later, Chan listened to the completed version, smiling. This was a lot better. He was glad he continued working on it instead of giving up sooner. With a deep sigh of exhaustion, Chan sent it to the head producer and then sat back on the couch. Now, he could finally rest. Not even the dull pounding at the back of his head could prevent him from pulling a spare blanket onto him, laying sideways, and closing his eyes.

\---

"Chan-hyung!" Changbin shouted, knocking at the door. They had been standing there, in the cold, for about ten minutes, desperately shouting their leader's name to open the door for them. 

Woojin began digging through his pockets. "Guys, forget it. I have a key."

They all groaned.

"Couldn't you have said something earlier?" Jisung whined.

"Stop it, you big baby. It's not like we were out here for hours."

"It's freezing, though."

Woojin unlocked the door. They all shuffled inside, taking off their shoes and setting down their bags, and then moving towards the dim light on in the living room. Minho entered first.

"Where's Chan? I hope he didn't go to a different studio or something," Jeongin murmured as he stood beside Minho.

Changbin entered next. He frowned at the maknae's words, knowing that it wouldn't be beyond their hardworking leader to do that. But then, the lump on the couch moved as a throaty cough came from its depths. "Chan-hyung?" he questioned cautiously, slowly moving towards it. Minho and Jeongin followed him as the rest of the members filed into the kitchen to get something to eat after their long day.

Changbin lifted the blankets to reveal a sweaty Chan, breath unsteady and body curled into himself as if to preserve warmth.

"He doesn't look so good," Jeongin squeaked.

Minho quickly moved past Changbin, who stood, shocked, staring at their leader in his weakened state. Changbin moved to the side and let the older take the reins.

Minho knelt down on the floor beside Chan and felt his forehead. His body was searing hot, and Minho could feel Chan trembling slightly under his hand.

Jisung popped his head out to call for the other three boys, but the shout died on his lips as he took in the scene. Minho, feeling the forehead of Chan, who lay unmoving on the couch. "Is he sick?" he asked instead.

"I think so," Minho answered seriously.

Woojin, who had come to stand behind Jisung, sighed irritably. "I told him this would happen if he kept doing what he's been doing. That stubborn idiot."

Hyunjin, who heard everything from the kitchen, tugged Jisung back to the table to finish up his food. He muttered as Woojin passed by, "I'll make him some soup."

\---

I shouldn't be sleeping right now. There was something I had to do....

Chan sat up and jumped off the couch with a start. He didn't notice Changbin or Minho who also shot off the couch from his sudden movement or the wet cloth that slipped off his head onto the floor.

"Chan! What are you doing?"

Chan hurriedly grabbed his backpack and began throwing things inside. "I have a meeting with JYP. I was so focused on the track that I completely forgot about it."

Changbin, who had recovered from his initial shock at seeing their leader so sick, tugged at Chan's arm to get him to stop. "He already stopped by."

Chan froze. "What?"

"You weren't answering his calls or texts and you hadn't showed up, so he got worried and stopped by the dorm. But once he saw the way you were.....he said that it was fine and you guys could meet later. He said we should take care of you for once."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Woojin stepped out of his room. "You're always so focused on us and music that you forget about yourself. When's the last time you had more than two hours of sleep? When's the last time you slept on a bed?"

For a few moments, Chan quietly contemplated what they said. "Well—"

"Just now doesn't count."

More silence. "Once our schedule dies down, I can rest."

Changbin shook his head. "That isn't going to be for a long time, Chan. You know how it is for idols, especially rookies. You're going to burn out before our schedule dies down."

Chan looked at the floor. As the adrenaline from when he first woke up started to fade, so did the numbness to his symptoms. Suddenly, everything started to spin. "I think—I think I should sit down for a moment," he muttered.

Changbin unsuccessfully tried to hide his smug grin, but Chan noticed and he shot the rapper a baleful look. "Oh, don't be so proud of yourself," he grumbled. "Just because I'm sitting down doesn't mean I'm admitting to your accusations."

"Good enough for me."

Hyunjin came in with a bowl of soup. He set it on the table beside Chan and sat down on the opposite side, staring at their leader with a raised eyebrow as if it to say, Well? Eat. Chan looked at his four friends gathered around him and realized that the quickest way to get this over with was to comply. Give in. These kids. Quietly, he took the spoon.

Meanwhile, Woojin and Changbin were having a silent conversation with their eyes.

He's not going to eat it, Changbin argued, scrunching up his eyebrows.

Woojin folded his arms. YES. Yes he will.

There was this one time where he spent a whole four days finishing up our mixtape for 3RACHA. WITHOUT SLEEPING. OR EATING. He's not going to eat it.

Why didn't you stop him? That's unhealthy!

We didn't know until he collapsed on the fifth! Even after that, Jisung and I would take turns watching him, but he still found a way to sneakily finish up the rest.

Woojin frowned. I'll just make him.

Changbin fixed him with an incredulous stare. How? Are you going to beat him up or something? Not to be insensitive, but Chan-hyung is a lot stronger than you.

Shut up—

Chan began eating. Changbin watched with wide eyes as he repeatedly dipped the spoon into the broth and then lifted it to his mouth.

Woojin smirked. Changbin looked away with a huff.

After Chan finished up the soup, he dropped the spoon in the bowl and said, "Are you happy? Will you all stop glaring at me like that now? It's kind of creepy."

\---

That night, Minho suddenly awoke from his slumber in the middle of the night. Why did I wake up? He was about to go back to sleep, but then—

"Chan, you better not open that door."

Chan froze with one hand on the doorknob, dressed in a T-shirt, jeans, and a baseball cap. Slowly, he turned toward Minho's bed. Minho sat, an action figure in hand, with a frosty glare directed towards the guilty male.

"I'll drop it if you even move an inch in that direction."

Drop what? Is that—

"Okay, okay! No need to get violent, jeez," Chan whisper yelled. He sulkily walked back to his bed, dragging his feet.

"Now get under the covers."

Chan complied. Gave in. These fucking kids.

\---

Two hours later, Woojin was the one who woke up. Like before, he, also, didn't realize why he'd woken up at first. Not until he heard a soft yelp coming from the other side of the room. He groggily sat up, searching for the source.

Chan.

Woojin hopped out of his bed and kneeled at the floor by Chan's side. The sleeping male shone with sweat, his eyes repeatedly scrunching up and his breath coming out in quick gasps.

And then, he began to speak.

"N-no. Don't be sorry....My fault."

Chan squeezed the bed sheets, his hands curling into fists.

"Chan!" Woojin whisper yelled. "Chan, wake up!"

Tears slipped out of the slightly younger's eyes. Not a lot, just a few. Just enough for Woojin to notice.

The lights turned on. Woojin whipped his head around to stare at Minho, who stood by the light switch rubbing his eyes. Before Woojin could say anything, Minho beat him to it. "Just wake him up. I can't sleep when he's like that anyway."

Together, the two spent an hour telling their leader to wake up, that it was okay, that he was good to them. And all throughout those long sixty minutes, Chan kept talking. Asleep, of course.

"They're my members....don't take them."

"I know it's hard, but we have to do better."

"Why'd you do that.....?"

"Just follow me....I won't leave you behind."

"I should've been there for you...."

"I'm sorry."

Minho grabbed Chan's shoulders and shook them, speaking into the older's ear. "Chan, wake up. You're a good person. You're a good leader. There'll never be another like you, Chris. Chan. CHRIS BANG CHAN."

Chan opened his eyes. Sat up. Rubbed his eyes. He looked at the exhausted members beside him. Their terrified yet determined stares. "You guys worked hard, yeah?"

Their hard expressions twisted into confusion.

"I should've woken up sooner."

This time, it was Minho who shed a couple tears. Just a couple. Just enough for Chan to notice. "You—aish, you have to take care of yourself, hyung."

Chan smiled and ruffled the dancer's hair. "I'm trying my best, too, Minho. It's okay. I'm okay."

"You're not okay."

Felix stood in the doorframe. The latter statement had been spoken in English with his deep voice.

Chan answered. In English. "I'm a lot stronger than you think, Felix. I won't crumble."

Felix hesitated. A doubtful look spread across his face. "You're not lying, right?"

Again, Chan smiled. "I'm not lying."

\---

A few days later, Chan had mostly gotten over his sickness. Now, he was sitting across from Bambam at a local Seoul cafe just a few miles away from the JYP building. Quietly, the two sipped their coffee.

Bambam was the first to speak. "How are you holding up? It's hard, right?"

Chan stared at the swirls of milk in the dark brown beverage. Unsmiling. "It's hard."

Bambam reached for his friend's hand and squeezed it. Chan squeezed back. "Do your members struggle?"

"Yeah. All of them....they've all come to me. Some even asked if this was all worth it...." He trailed off. "It is." Chan paused. "It is," he repeated.

"Hey," Bambam whispered. Chan lifted his head. "It is. It's all worth it."

He looked down again. "That's good."

A few minutes of more silence. Nothing but the quiet chatter of the cafe customers.

"Have you told your members? About your struggles."

Chan smiled. Stared right into Bambam's worried eyes. "For now....they don't need to know."


End file.
